‘It is not good for man to be alone’ (Genesis 2:18), said the Lord. Contemporary psychologists and psychotherapists eagerly discuss the dangers of this condition, coming up with new recipes for happiness. But is it really that bad? Is it harmful for everyone? For some, loneliness is a period when one can reflect on spiritual matters and change oneself, while for others it is a difficult and painful ordeal.
But one way or another, when this state becomes the ‘norm’ of life, internal disharmony begins. Every person is born to give to others the love that God has placed within them, and when this does not happen, the divine plan is lost, and the person becomes a ‘thing in itself.’ Solitary confinement has always been considered one of the most severe and cruel punishments. By their very nature, people always need community; loneliness is unnatural and uncomfortable for them. It is only in relationships with other people that one's own ‘I’ is revealed and manifested, and one's creative potential is unlocked.
Nowadays, people are distant from one another. The pursuit of material well-being and social status takes away all their vital energy, leaving them with no strength or time to build trusting relationships with one another. This is especially true in huge metropolises, where people can live next door to each other for years without knowing one another. In such huge urban ‘oceans’, where everyone is constantly rushing somewhere, not hearing or noticing each other, there is less and less room for love and mutual understanding.
The result is mass alienation, the forgetting of our ancestors' traditions, and a lack of simple human communication. The phenomenon of ‘loneliness in a crowd’ has been described by many scientists, and it is now more relevant than ever. A person may be surrounded by thousands of other people, but still not receive warmth and support from them. Living people are replaced by mechanisms and cold social media accounts, and internet communication creates only a weak illusion of being needed and in demand, beyond which the notorious feeling of loneliness is still keenly felt.
This problem particularly affects the institution of the traditional family, which is becoming less and less relevant to young people. The image of a lonely person is in vogue today. The modern mass media presents loneliness as a blessing and marriage as a collection of hassles and problems. According to the mass media, it allows you to be independent, free from family worries, not accountable to anyone for anything, and not to take on the burden of responsibility.
In other words, ‘have fun and don't think about anything!’ The trend of being single is inextricably linked to a focus on oneself, one's ego. The position of a single person is falsely presented as the most advantageous and convenient. The main message of the modern mass media is that it is easier and simpler to survive alone, and this is successfully accepted by many as a lifestyle. The image of a single, free woman is successfully created by the modern media.
She is independent, selfish, ambitious, successful and self-sufficient. Beautiful goods and famous brands are all she needs to be happy. Modern training courses for women with titles such as ‘How to become a bitch’ are, alas, becoming more popular every day... At the same time, the image of a single, free man is being created - a macho man who also enjoys living alone, enjoying the same fruits of consumer culture.
But sooner or later, everyone realises that these images are false and do not bring happiness. When a person is completely alone among material goods, without love and support, then comes the realisation that modern models of ‘happiness’ are wrong. The cult of selfishness is widespread in the media. We are encouraged to think first and foremost about ourselves, our interests and desires.
Such attitudes are promoted as positive, with advertising slogans saying things like: ‘Allow yourself this! Pamper yourself! Think about yourself!’ There is an imaginary feeling of loneliness when a person is fixated only on themselves, their desires, does not seek to love, is egocentric, and exaggerates their feelings and experiences. It is difficult to build relationships with such people; they are avoided because they give nothing in return during communication, but only consume.
But at the same time, there is also real loneliness, which is felt by a large number of people all over the world. But to despair and become despondent in such a situation is to cause the greatest harm to oneself, to one's soul. And if a person struggles with their sinful nature, if they seek God and connect with Him, it means that they trust Him. If such trust exists, then the feeling of loneliness is quite surmountable, and this tragedy of earthly human life is resolved.
Many lonely people cease to believe that the Lord can change their lives for the better. They cease to trust God. Having suffered many setbacks in life and been burned by the cruelty and misunderstanding of those around them, many people begin to fear loving and doing good to others. The fear of new pain, new trials and insults stems from a feeling of excessive self-love and vanity.
Such people think first and foremost about themselves, their feelings and emotions (‘How can I prevent them from hurting me? What will happen to me?’). We all suffer from loneliness to some extent. It is a difficult trial for everyone, but it is important to remember that those who bear this cross willingly, without complaint or reproach, receive comfort from the Lord, and it becomes a feat for them.
According to Christian teaching, the best remedy for loneliness is faith in God and helping others. Every person, even the sickest and weakest, can help another. As Simeon of Athos said, ‘To help another person, you don't have to be strong and rich — it is enough to be kind.’ Let it be a kind word, valuable advice or a sincere prayer. Only by treating others with love and kindness can a person break the chains of loneliness and become truly needed and sought after.